an ex who broke up with him over 3 years ago, as well as her phone number on his phone
AND
the photo of another woman he used to go with wearing lingerie on his phone?
it is my contention he is still attached to the past and not over these women. if your woman did this, what would you do/say/believe?
he tells me he has no contact w/ either woman and he is over them. they are %26#039;knotches%26#039; on his belt and he deleted them, realizing it was wrong and hurtful. how in the world would deleting them change the reason why they were on the phone in the first place?
this is my fiance and i have effectively broken up with him. are guys really this stupid, or am i just an idiot? thoughtful answers appreciated.|||Goodness girl! he deleted them, doesn%26#039;t that prove it to you that if it was a big deal to him, he could have easily said I%26#039;ll keep them, after all its%26#039; not like he can do a thing to the photos. Drop it, or he%26#039;ll see you are very insecure which can be a turn off.|||He still has feelings for her|||He wants to keep them just in case anything happens between you and him or he wants to still hook up with him. It%26#039;s good that you dumped him he would have cheated.|||For two reasons:
1. The pictures are turn-ons, regardless of previous actual relationship status
2. They still have an affection for the women as friends
Surprisingly, it%26#039;s not because they have any plans to mess around with them, although this is possible, and probably does cross the mind.
I%26#039;ve been married for 14 years, and I have all my old GF photos, although not on my phone. I also have facebook links to at least 4 or 5 old girlfriends... from 20-25 years ago. A few I have communicated with, but only for a message or two like %26quot;how%26#039;s it going%26quot;. After one or two messages, we stopped. Keep in mind, these girls are now middle aged mothers, and even though they are curious, they also draw the line.
I wouldn%26#039;t assume anything nasty is going on with your husband.|||I%26#039;m not a phone picture kind of guy , but I have at least a few pictures and mementos of all the chicks I was with for any length of time.
They were part of my life and I%26#039;m sure at some point when I%26#039;m an old man I%26#039;ll enjoy a trip down memory lane.
I also have pictures of all the bikes I%26#039;ve had , all my dogs and most of my friends.
My bikes aren%26#039;t jealous that I have pictures of other bikes, my dogs aren%26#039;t jealous that I have pictures of other dogs and my current friends aren%26#039;t jealous I have pictures of past friends.|||One possibility is that you%26#039;re right and he%26#039;s not over them.
Another possibility is that he forgot they were on his phone. That would be the case if it were me. I have no idea what photos are on my phone. I rarely clean out numbers of people I never talk to. Looking at my phone now, the third person on my contact list is a woman I have no idea who she is. The sixth one is a friend I haven%26#039;t spoken to since 1995. The next one is a daycare I haven%26#039;t used in 2 years, then a doctor I haven%26#039;t seen in 4 or 5 years, some doctors I have no idea what I saw for, and oh, there%26#039;s my marriage counselor from my first marriage 7 years ago! There%26#039;s a woman I had an online thing with 8 years ago and have been sorta friends with for years but I haven%26#039;t called in 5 years. Oh, an old girlfriend who looked me up 4 or 5 years ago and I never actually used the number, just plugged it into the phone. She e-mailed me, we caught up on what we%26#039;ve been doing the last 20 years, and we never talked again. Another woman%26#039;s name I don%26#039;t have a clue who she is. The number, long since disconnected, for some girls my daughter used to play with when she was 8. Now she%26#039;s 14 and they%26#039;ve moved away. One of my son%26#039;s friends from 5 years ago. An old classmate I had dinner with in the 90%26#039;s.
I could go on. You get the idea.
He%26#039;s not stupid. If he just forgot they were in there and deleted them, big deal. You%26#039;re not an idiot. Maybe you%26#039;re right. But more likely, the reason they were on the phone in the first place is that he had a reason to put them there years ago, and he never went through and cleaned his phone out. Also, as others have pointed out, we%26#039;re entitled to our memories. I have old photos of my life, including a bunch that include exes, and big deal. I get nostalgic. They%26#039;re in my past and have nothing to do with my marriage. I%26#039;m in love with my wife have no interest in going back to any exes, but I wouldn%26#039;t throw out my old photos to make someone else happy.|||I still have all the photos and love letters from High School on. I don%26#039;t have feelings for any of the women other than we had a past. It is part of my life. Deleting them wouldn%26#039;t change his feelings just yours. He was trying to be nice and considerate to you. He would need to have feelings for them first in order for them to change.
Why would you try and pretend his past doesn%26#039;t exist? Are you in denial? The reason you take pictures in the first place is to keep the memories. My wife still has pictures of her ex. Big deal.
